17. October 2008 by Satire V.

Dear America,

Gosh I just really love you! You are so OK. Nobody loves you like I do.
There are just few things I’d like very much if you could change just a little for me if you don’t mind too much.

First, this thing you have about keeping the money you earn for yourself and your family. I know you already give an awful lot to your Uncle, but with how much you make it isn’t really fair that you don’t give him more. He has other neices and nephews who want and deserve it more than you.

Also, the way you cling to your religion! Really, what’s the big deal? It’s only God after all. And don’t even get me started on those guns of yours. It’s like you’re expecting that Uncle of yours to come kick down your door and take away something precious. What do you have that’s so great anyway? Freedom? Rights? Those are just words anyway.

Some of those momentos of your past that you keep hanging around could come between us one day. Maybe it would be best if you just box them up and put them away. Better yet, we could just burn them. No need to have those reminders of your past with other men around. What’s more important here, me or Mount Rushmore and that Constitution thingy of yours?

If you could just take care of these few little things, I just know I will love you all the more. If you can’t bring yourself to, my friends and I are always willing to “help” with change you can believe in.

Love,

Barry

P.S. If you do these things, Michelle will be so proud!

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17. October 2008 by Satire V.

Imagine for a moment a quarter. One side heads, one tails. Now flip it… Which side landed up?
Now flip it a billion more times… I’ll wait…
Statisticians tell us that it will come out pretty much equal between heads and tails.

Now imagine a coin with “Vote Obama” on one side, and “The Best For America” on the other. Does it bring to mind the saying “two sides of the same coin”?
Now flip this coin a billion times… waiting… Probably pretty much equal between both sides again.
Now, how many times did this coin land with both sides up? I’m guessing zero. As always, the two sides of the same coin are always going in opposite directions.

Flipping a coin is a way of making a random choice between two, usually opposed options. Other than the element of chance that is what America faces in this election; a decision between two incompatible choices. It really doesn’t matter what you think of John McCain. He is the best option for America when it comes down to the two possibilities. There are only two options in this election: Obamination or America.

That doesn’t seem to require a coin toss to decide, does it?

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16. October 2008 by Satire V.

Barack Obamination wants us to believe that his 20-year long attendance at Jeremiah Wright’s sermons means nothing. (Other than what a fine church-going Christian he is)
He also expects us to believe that starting his Senatorial campaign in William “cop-killa” Ayers’ living room is devoid of significance as well.
If he had so little to do with these people, why does he refer to Ayers as a “Professor Of English” instead of “despicable murdering piece of garbage”? Why does he wait 20 years to suddenly notice that Race-baiter Wright is saying a few things out of line? Was he afraid of hurting their feelings?

The answer is simple, and visible to anyone not blinded by fanatacism: he had no disagreement with these disgusting anti-American pieces of subhuman slime.

Personally, I find Obama’s association with his wife disturbing enough not to vote for him. Anyone who can ignore the others is more interested in nurturing their senseless hatred of Republicans than in the “Truth” that Obamination claims to love.

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16. October 2008 by Satire V.

The debate over who won the last presidential debate of this campaign will obviously go on for much longer than the actual event. The reality is that there was no clear winner, but there is likely to be an overwhelming loser.

After listening to both candidates talk about “climate change,” it is clear that America lost either way.

The loss is obviously much greater if Obama comes out on top in this election, with the high likelihood that we will have 2 of 3 of our federal government branches in the hands of the Dems. I am preparing to ride out 4 very painful years.

Speaking of the debate; it seems that Obamination showed his complete ignorance of a wide variety of subjects. From the obvious of not knowing where he was when his Senatorial campaign was kicked off, to only slightly more obscure policy areas.

The ignorance of how group insurance policies work was astounding. His suggestion that merely adding more bodies to an insurance plan will lower costs is frighteningly foolish. The more additional people that fall toward the higher risk end of actuarial tables, the higher the cost for the existing insured group. I guess the rest of us are supposed to suck up the cost of paying to add the high risk individuals he is most concerned with. More of his master wealth redistribution plan. Socialist!

He also apparently missed Economics 101 while organizing his community. Raising taxes on business causes them to cut pay, cut benefits, send jobs overseas, and raise prices. What a boon to the middle class on Main Street. Neophyte!

Well, here’s to all of us, the losers in this election, Americans. May the next four years pass quickly, and may we still be able to pull our country back from the brink when its over.

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15. October 2008 by Satire V.

In Wednesday night’s debate, Obama opened himself up on taxes again and John McCain refused to take the opening.  Once again Obama has spoken proudly about taxing the rich, but also added that he would give tax breaks to businesses that create jobs in the United States.

Let’s assume for a moment that you are a business owner.  You can either keep your jobs overseas and avoid the ridiculously high tax rate in America, or you can create jobs here, pay the taxes up front, and collect on the back end.  Hmmm, money in the bank, or money in the government’s hands???  Tough decision.

John McCain should be pointing out that ANY tax on business will end up coming out of the pockets of working Americans.  If a business pays higher taxes, they are going to pass on that higher tax to you.  Some will eliminate jobs to save money.

It is clear that never having a real job has seriously affected Obamination’s ideas about how a free-market economy actually works.

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15. October 2008 by Satire V.

I have to admit that I was tempted to call Obamination voters “sheep”, but after some short consideration I decided against it.
It is true that sheep will follow blindly, with little concern for the direction they are going. This doesn’t really go far enough in describing those that have decided to follow Obama.
The best parallel is probably the lemming. Following a leader that has no qualification other than a particular charisma, they throw themselves into an ocean that will be their doom.
This is how Obama’s fans behave. They don’t know where they are going, why they are going there, and when the abyss is described to them, they only run that much faster to the edge.
Ask his proponents why he should be president, and his own advisors can barely get past undefined “change”.
If Obamination wins the White House, I will do my best to stand aside and let the lemmings throw themselves from the precipice, but I worry that they could take the whole country with them.

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5. October 2008 by Satire V.

John McCain must have decided sometime between rounds that he couldn’t win this fight without throwing at least a few punches.

Maybe he learned a bit from Sarahcuda’s debate performance; it’s ok to actually say that Obamimam is lying when he does. Maybe for tonight’s debate, he could bring a copy of the Congressional Record to remind Obamination that there is a record of his votes. It would also show his lack of ideas. To paraphrase Douglas Adams, Obama has written and sponsored bills in much the same way that a brick hasn’t.

I certainly hope that McCain is prepared to back up his own record with specifics this time. If he brings the examples and facts to the table, he should win the debate handily. If he is unprepared to defend his statements he will be in for trouble.

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1. October 2008 by Satire V.

So far, a majority of the House of Representatives have done the right thing regarding the “credit crisis” by refusing to pass the bailout bill.  Unfortunately, there is some indication that the resolve of some members may waver given enough time.   The final result is likely to create even more such problems in the future.  Much of this problem was created by liberal policies dating back many years; that is, the encouragement of bad behavior by rewarding it.

In this case there are journalists, politicians, and even the President telling us how there won’t be credit available to those who need it.  Eventually, there will probably be something that most refer to as a “solution”, but how can an exacerbation of the root of the problem solve anything?  The problem in this case has been offering credit to everyone, regardless of ability to repay.  This has been partially due to government policies intended to encourage (pressure and threaten) lenders to give credit to everyone to make housing available to all, confusing home ownership with the American Dream.  Too much credit has been available, and there have been no positive consequences for good behavior.

The real opportunity here is to reduce available credit; creating a negative consequence for failure to pay, or late payment of bills and obligations.

If  Congress insists on spending to fix the problem the way to do it would be to make a few payments on the mortgages of responsible homeowners.  Those that took fixed-rate mortgages well within their means would be the best place to start.  This would be a great way to encourage the right kind of behavior.

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27. September 2008 by Satire V.

Dear Barack,

 America was listening to your typically selfless comments during a crucial moment for the economy.  We who understand what your economic policies would wreak, have decided that we don’t need you.  Apparently even the Democratic Party elites have no plans to get you on the horn.

Don’t waste a lot of time waiting by the phone.

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10. September 2008 by Satire V.

Perhaps at the first town hall debate, John McCain can ask Obama what his favorite shade is?  If there is pig in drag in the room, I think it would be the Democrat.

A better question….

Why would McDonald’s want to make the new fryer cook the CEO?

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